a fool sees not the same tree

“good faith”

Usually I don’t bother. I really don’t. I can’t be wasting spoons on shit like “Tone arguments are terrible! Here’s why I can still use them instead of you!”

Then this entire question of good faith/bad faith comes up.

Let me tell you something about “good faith”, my duckies.

if I didn’t check myself properly & screw up, the person I hurt has every right to hold that against me for the rest of my life. You know why? Because my feelings don’t matter. Not one iota. Theirs do. The conversation is about them, & their needs. & while the onus is on me to apologise, they do not have an obligation to accept the apology. If I come over and smash your house up, and then knock asking to be let in, would you open the door? Do I even have any right to demand you do that after behaving in such a heinous manner?

Of course not.

To break someone’s house and then assume you will be let in and complain when you don’t is an abuse of privilege. To demand an assumption of good faith, that is abuse of privilege. To erase someone and then tell them to get over it, that is abuse of privilege. & making it about the privileged person’s feelings on the subject is an abuse of privilege. & above all, it is legitimate critique, because the onus is on ME to check & double-check my bowling technique (cricket metaphor, what to do) to make sure I don’t injure anyone. As I said to thenakedsamba yesterday, a marginalised person does not derive some grotesque pleasure from being angry. From not forgetting. Because we can’t handwave all that oppression away.

& we have every right to slam the door in your face & tell you to bugger off.

P.S. Why is it that all calls for ~solidarity~ within the social justice movement come from the top?

∞Posted on March 23, 2011

Notes: 51 notes

Tags: privilege,kyriarchy,wtaf,